Deadlee, El Rey Del Gay Rap

Por Samara Riviera
Photo by Greg Frederick

When it comes to gay rap there is one man leading the way in our community. His face, his voice, and his lyrics are out there in the forefront representing us. With his sex symbol status this papi cholo known by many as Deadlee is the up and coming rey of gay rap. But Deadlee is actually not from the barrios of L.A. but rather grew up a goody too shoes in his Denver, Colorado. But somewhere along the way he ended up in Los Angeles and picked up the mic to rap about what todays gay youth can relate to. With such a homophobic rap world out there it is nice to know our community has someone to look up to and enjoy with our ears and our eyes because this is one tattooed hombre who is easy on the eyes. Having just wrapped and leading the Homo Revolution tour Deadlee took time out to speak to me. Following is our conversation where we discuss his groupies, his sex symbol status, and of course monogamy or lack thereof. Con ustedes el merisomo rey del gay rap, el carismático papi Deadlee.

Samara: Where did you grow up?
Deadlee: In Denver, Colorado. Then I came out here when I was eighteen. Now I live in the Echo Park area. You’ve seen Mi Vida Loca? Yeah, you know Echo Park. (laughs) Gurl!

Samara: How were your high school days?
Deadlee: You know I went to an all boys catholic high school. And so I wasn’t even how I am now. I was a little nerdy school boy.

Samara: When did you decide rap was for you?
Deadlee: You know what? I grew up with it. That was my music I listened to. I used to go to those movies like Breakdancing, Electric Bugaloo and all those. Then when I came out to L.A. there was a home boy of mine we used to do raps just for fun. Do little house parties and then I just decided to do it full time. I started experimenting with music and that’s kind of what came out, was rap. Cause I can’t sing, I can’t sing, so I had to do some rap.

Samara: Was there ever a time when you wanted to stay in the closet as an artist?
Deadlee: You know there wasn’t. I came out right away pretty much just because as soon as I started creating music the producer I was working with, I was doing the beats with and he was kind of a mentor at the same time and whenever I came back with the lyrics after writing the beat, and at first I was trying too hard, acting like I was a little gangster and stuff and that wasn’t really me so I just wrote from the heart and some gay stuff came out so I just kind of went with it. I just kind of write whatever comes out.

Samara: Now, do you speak Spanish?
Deadlee: You know what? My Spanish is wet. I’m sorry gurl. You know what? My mom is Latina from the U.S.A. and like all my family is from Southern Colorado. And you know how this was Mexico before in Colorado. And you know the border pretty much crossed us but they’ve been there for generations in the area, it’s called San Luis, Colorado. Like my families last name is Espinoza. You know I think I grew up in a generation, especially my mom, where it wasn’t cool to be taught Spanish or speak it. That’s kind of fucked up. So, I didn’t learn it. I understand like fifty percent. And its funny cause my family would use it whenever they were talking about me or whenever they were talking about the kids, like my generation, that’s when we hear the Spanish so we’d know they don’t want us to know what they’re talking about. Now my mom is like, “how come you don’t know Spanish?” And I’m like, “because you didn’t teach it to me.” (laughs) That’s messed up but I wish I could learn it though.

Samara: What does your family think about you being an out gay rapper?
Deadlee: My mom has been really supportive. Almost from the get go she’s been really cool. In fact they all came… like I said they’re from Southern Colorado, so I did a show in Albuquerque recently and they all came down, some cousins, and aunts, grandmother and it’s funny cause I got a real macho cousin and I mean he’s a hunter and he works in the mountains and he came and I don’t think he’d ever been in a gay bar before and it seemed like he had the best time, he taped the show and he was just having a great time. I mean that kind of felt good because you know my macho cousin all straight and he was cool with what I was doing, he was all proud of me and stuff so it’s fucking cool. You know what happened was my mom just let him know I’m gay and you can’t discriminate and let the family know.

Samara: How does it feel to be one of the first gay rapper sex symbols?
Deadlee: Ah shit I never heard that gurl. (laughs) Damn! That’s kind of cool though. On the road I had a lot of little groupies. A lot of groupie love and I was like, “oh man now I know how these straight rappers, big time rappers feel with the girls. But I got all these boy groupies and its funny because some of these boys are coming on to me but then they’re like, “oh but you’re gonna leave here and go on to the next boy” then they get all mad. I’m like, “hey, what am I supposed to do?” But yeah its cool, I’m having fun with it.

Samara: So, how is the Homo Revolution tour going?
Deadlee: You know? It kinda ended but were gonna do some more cities. I think were gonna do a midwest later on in the fall and then we’re gonna go to Atlanta and Chicago. I mean the first leg was one of the best experiences I’ve had as far as my career. Touring with the other gay rappers and meeting with all the fans. A lot of myspace fans. Myspace has helped a lot. Being in San Antonio, those were some hot cities and hot boys. And just a different kind of crowd too it’s not just all boys. It’s a different kind of rap crowd that I’m used to, its sometimes older and women too. But definitely a lot of Latino boys, which is cool. That’s my big thing, I think my biggest audience is part of the Latin boys. I guess I’m giving them something they can relate to.

Samara: And what do you do when you get propositioned when your on tour?
Deadlee: Ah… you had to ask that hu? (laughs) Well you know I have a boyfriend so the deal is I’m supposed to be good but I guess I have the don’t ask don’t tell policy. (laughs) On the road, actually, it’s funny cause I was cool most of the time. Most of the time. (laughs) There was a hot boy from San Antonio that I was like, “ahh I could fall in love.” I could probably have fallen in love with a  boy in every city, that’s just how I am. I’m one of those boys that just falls in love too easy. So, yeah. I wish I was more of a player, I would probably have more fun.

Samara: Do you think men were meant to be monogamous?
Deadlee: You know what? I’ve come to the conclusion that no. That guys can’t be. I’ve had three long term relationships. And I’ve just come to the conclusion that guys just can’t be monogamous. I think you can be monogamous as far as your heart and like who you’re devoted to and who you love but I think as far as sexually, no. Guys just have those urges and yeah it’s tough with all the guys around. And I’m on the road, like you said. But I can kind of distinguish between what’s sex and what’s love. And I think maybe guys can do that easier than women. But definitely, I always have my heart but I know sometimes, were human we slip up.

Samara: When it becomes legal would you marry?
Deadlee: You know what? I think the only way I would marry is… because I have a couple of home boys that they are just good friends that are illegal, so I would do it just to make them legal because I think that’s kind of fucked that the straight community can do that stuff. They don’t always marry for the right reasons. Yeah, they’re saying that were breaking the whole concept of marriage but straight people already broke that. They’re doing stupid shit with marriage. Marrying over night in Vegas and do stupid shit. If I would marry I would just do it to help someone that’s illegal stay in the country. But even marriage is a thing of the heart. I mean my first boyfriend was five years, the second was five years, and the current is two. So, I mean since I’ve been out, since 19, 20 years old I’ve been in relationships. And I’ve outlasted some of my straight cousins, you know? But you know I’m fighting for it just because I think it’s not fair that we don’t have the same rights. Sometimes I write in my blog, I’m pushing for any kind of legislation for marriage though.

Samara: Have you ever been sexual with a woman?
Deadlee: Ahh. I have a rap song where I put something like, “I ain’t been in pussy since the day of my birth.” But it’s not completely true… but see I did other stuff besides… I’ve never gone the whole way with the girl. I mean I’ve experienced some oral stuff but… (laughs) But I find girls beautiful as hell. I was going through something, I’m not gonna get off the topic too much, I was talking to somebody like, “what makes you gay?” And somehow I got sick, demented things and for me like somehow sex to me is like it’s not dirty but its just raw and the whole thing. And I find women too beautiful sometimes where I guess cause I always put my mom and my grandma, aunts in pedestals and find women so pretty. I find like if I have sex with a woman it’s like degrading. So it’s easier for me to have sex with a dude because I can just, not degrade them but… You know what I’m saying? Its kind of weird I’m like I should go to a psychologist about it. (laughs) But yeah I find women so beautiful and by the way you’re real pretty I saw your picture.

Samara: So, what type of guys do you like?
Deadlee: I don’t discriminate. If they’re sexy and sexy can mean all kinds of things. It’s funny because my manager can see some of the guys I like and they’re not your normal handsome guy, I’m not into like perfect bodies, like the cover of Adelante, that’s usually not my type. They’re cute and stuff but its just not my type. I like a guy that… sometimes that even has a flaw, that ain’t perfect. Like maybe their nose is crooked or just has a little flaw to them. A little more human. I don’t like a perfect body, a perfect face. I like a little flaw. You can always find sexy in someone. You know? But usually Latino, Black whatever.

Samara: What kind of strange requests do you get on myspace?
Deadlee: Oh, obviously I get propositioned all the time. Guys saying they’ll do anything for me. I think maybe the weirdest thing I’ve got was some guy wanted me to wear my underwear for like a week straight and send it to him but I was like, “first of all I ain’t gonna wear my underwear for a week straight.” (laughs) I just can not see me going to the post office and putting the dirty drawers… And then I had another request, guys are just weird, to send him my nut rag, you know? My cum towel. I’m like, “ugh!” Just some crazy shit like that. Most of it is they just want a picture and autograph. Which reminds me I think I got three of them I’m slacking on I gotta autograph some things.

Samara: Tell us about your appearance on The Tyra Banks Show?
Deadlee: You know I appreciate Tyra because she is really cool with the gay community. I mean just look at her model show, she has all the gay judges and I guess just being a model you deal with tons of gay people. But the whole thing was “It’s not in to be out.” And in the rap world its still kind of taboo. And so I shared the stage with the football player and the basketball player that recently came out. I forget their names but anyways she was really cool. I just appreciate her throwing it out there especially mainstream media that there’s gay rappers that’s really out there. Cause people always speculate whos the gay rappers? L.L. Cool J gay this and that I’m like, “who cares?” because if they are they’re not even out their being punks about it. There’s people already doing it like me and a whole bunch of us and why don’t you give us some attention because we’re doing it from the get go we were never like in the closet. And I think it takes a lot a lot more guts to be out right away with this shit. And we should get props for that. And so I give Tyra props for putting us out there and just sharing my story. Yeah, cause there’s definitely a lot of hate still. I’m shocked at the rap world still has all this hate. I was on CNN and I always get tons of hate mail. “Faggot put down the mic” and “what are you gonna do? You gonna suck on it.” Just stupid shit. I was even getting a couple death threats like, “You come to my town we’ll fucken knock your off.” I was like, “dang, is it that serious? I’m rapping.” That’s ridiculous, that’ serious.

Samara: What would you like to say to famous rappers who are closeted?
Deadlee: Stop being a punk, you know. Come out. To me someone, especially with their art that’s not being real, is like they haven’t been real the whole time and I just don’t have the respect for them. It’s kind of sad to me artist that do come out after the fact like George Michael and these people that come out after their tour is already done with. I give them more props to people like an Ellen who came out during her hey day when she was on top of her game. She came out in the comedy world, the TV world, she had her set back but look at her now she’s hosting the Oscars now and stuff. It actually shows you it’s better to be out. People I think will eventually have more respect for you if you’re just out. You’ll be free. I’m sure it works just the same with you. You are who you are. And you know I think the transgender community I think has it tougher than anyone cause even in the gay community it seems like sometimes transgenders are the lowest of the gay community. And that’s just tough to deal with. But a lot of my early shows I wanted to represent, because there’s so many flavors to the gay community that people don’t always realize, there’s me repring the kind of macho looking gay dude but then I’d have a couple of boy dancers that were kind of queeny, I’d always have a drag queen or transgender helping me out. You know? Just to give the different flavors of what gay is. I mean there’s so many of us you know?

Samara: Is acting part of the career plan?
Deadlee: Oh yeah. I’ve been doing more. I took some acting classes and got a few parts and I’ve been in a movie called Vengeance and Dead Man Walking and a couple of other things. I’m working on something too. I’m working on a pilot with a friend of mine and I want it to be the first kind of like Latino comedy in the realm of Married With Children, Roseanne. Where it’s just about real Latinos and its kind of about the whole cholo family. So we’ve been working on a script and doing stuff. Definitely I think I want to just do it all but acting is kinda where I eventually just want to lead it to. You know like L.L. Cool J, Will Smith, and Queen Latifah they started with the rap game then they went into the comedy world then into drama. Get my Oscar one day.

Samara: And tell us about this whole comedy thing you got going?
Deadlee: Oh yeah that too. There’s not that many comics in my realm either. And I’ve done a few gigs in the Latin stages out here. And I haven’t completely been out with myself sexually there but I’m starting to do it. Do it now just cause I didn’t know how people were gonna respond. And comedy is a whole different scene. It’s just you on the mic. You can’t hide behind the beat. And that’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I think definitely George Lopez needs a successor. And that’s kind of my heart too and I’m really feeling it. Ever since I started doing comedy and acting it’s helped in my rap because you know just being on stage is sometimes creative and throwing out an image and it’s helped with my performances the whole acting and comedy stuff. So I think it just all works hand in hand.

Samara: When does the new CD come out and what can we expect from that?
Deadlee: The next CD is kind of tentatively titled Intifada which means uprising in Arabic. And I’m looking probably fall or winter of this year. And I’m kind of getting… I usually work a lot of rock, rap beats but now I’m getting a little more poppy and guess you can say mainstream. I just want stuff people can have more fun to. I’m not gonna have as much message in my
rap because I’ve pretty much done the first two CDs have been real message heavy. And you know talking about coming out and different society kind of things. But this one I’m just in the mood to… cause the world to me is kind of fucked up right now with the war and all this different crap. It’s so heavy at times that I just want some fun shit. You know, it’s just fun stuff right now. Stuff people can dance to and things like that. But I always have my homeboys Salvimex do at least one Spanish/English track with me. I’m working with another guy who we got a little Spanglish going on there too. I like to always have two or three there though. You know have some Spanish flavor in there too.

Samara: Anything else you would like to say?
Deadlee: I’m coming to your town so groupies line up! I don’t know. (laughs) I might be doing Miami. I’m going to do Ft. Lauderdale I think in August. And then we’re gonna try to do a Miami like the same week. We’re gonna try to hit a few Florida towns. So definitely if I’m there I’ll let you know. But definitely in August I’ll be out in Florida so hopefully we’ll get to see you.

Samara: Thanks so much.
Deadlee: That’s really cool that you called me up. I appreciate that. But yeah that’s been one of my favorite magazines. I’m like, “hey how come I’ve never been in that magazine?”  Alright gurl, thanks a lot.

www.Deadlee.com